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I Was... I Am... I Will Be... The Only One!

By Andrew Haxalot



So, for the past while, my friends and I have been wanting to do legal plant drugs, like Datura, Purple Viper and Salvia. We couldn't find any Datura near where we lived, so we looked for some Purple Viper (Echium Plantagium) and found a shit tonne of that the day before and smoked a bit of that. My friends could feel shit all, while I could feel a slight gravitational pull and it was gone in a minute. One of my friends told me that there was Salvia downtown at a local glass shop and we could go down there and buy some. We decided to go down there and get some, but when we got there, it said it was closed until Wednesday (it was Monday that day). So we waited 'til Wednesday. We went down there in the early afternoon and I bought ourselves a 20x pack of Salvia. They had different flavours like Honey Maple, Strawberry, Blueberry, etc. I just sticked with the natural one without any flavour in it.

We got home and we waited about 30 minutes before walking down to a small forest where we have our little sesh spot. While biking home before we waited 30 minutes before smoking, I told my 3 friends that I'm taking the first hit. They were OK with it because if they weren't I would've told them to fuck off anyways because I bought it.  xD  We went down to the forest after deciding that it's time to see if this shit really is a fuckin' hallucinogen. I took about two twenty second hits and I had this weird feeling through my body and I could literally see a whole new world manipulated from the one I was already in. It's like seeing the true power of Mother Nature or was I seeing the true power of Sally.  xD I felt a very calm feeling, but lost almost 75% of my coordination. My friends would look at me, like "WTF is going on with him?!". They would wave their hands in my face about 5 times and only once, did I really realize it was them. About 30 seconds later, the effects wore off and were subsiding. I still had a huge loss of coordination though. As we were walking out of the forest, I come out of this small rocky ditch while a car was coming. I tripped and fell and the car felt so close to me that I nearly shit myself!

Next, we decided to hang out for about 2 more hours and do our little thing. Like, bikin' around, playin' ball, hanging out at the park, etc.

We decided that we didn't have enough. xD It was time to take some more. We did the same thing at our sesh spot. I took two fuckin' bowls! Approximately fifteen seconds later, I felt the same thing from the first trip, except I couldn't really see my friends. My mouth would literally open up like a fuckin' hippopotamus and my friends thought I was going to pull some stupid trick and get up and run around and be like "Ahahahahahaha!!! Niggas, this shit don't even work!" because that's what happened when I did this random plant a long time back. I started feeling the same effects, but this time I saw everything as being one of itself!Just like on Noah's ark, there were two of each kind, but I was feeling that everything I looked at, there was only one of it's kind and it wasn't there when I was really looking at it. It's like it was in a different dimension or some shit. I took a power nap, which felt to me like 3 hours, but my friends said I opened my eyes again after about ten seconds and I started slightly convulsing and trying to run out of the forest, but they just kept me held down. Then I started screaming "What did I take?! What did I take?!" over and over again! I started flailing my fuckin' arms around and shit. Then I heard rustling of leaves through the wind and I saw this weird lady and she was dressed up with leaves and shit. She dissipated into the leaves and next thing I see is leaves forming the shape of little goblins and they're trying to eat me and climb on me and shit. I snapped out of it and it took me almost 5 minutes to come back into reality. We left the forest and did the same thing we did last time.

Don't fuckin' ask why I got the stupidest idea to think that it wasn't enough for one fuckin' day! After hanging out with my friends, I realized that I had to go with my Community Living social worker to go to the Y. I told my friends I'd be back at 9:00 and we'll do it then. When I went to the Y, I had so much fuckin' energy that I didn't want to fuckin' stop! I eventually had to though because my social worker was getting tired and it was almost time for us to leave. I got back to my friends and we decided we'd hit the closest Tim Horton's (Canadian coffee shop) and get a pack of 12 donuts. One of my friends said he picked up a bong from a friend on the way, so we could smoke this shit better, instead of smoking from my pipe.

We went to the park and started smoking near a storage unit with bathroom stalls. We stayed outside though because the bathroom stalls were locked prolly to prevent vandalism and such. Anyways, I headed back to my house to get the Salvia and when I came back, one of my friends said the other went to get a better lighter because the one we had broke on us. He managed to get two lighters. One could only produce a spark and the other worked, but the top piece was broken off. We got it to light!  Very Happy But while my friend was coming back with the lighters, I thought I was acting smart and decided to take the shit out of the bowl, but instead of picking it out, I dumped it into the bag of Salvia and I fucked it up! Water spilled into the fucking bag! My friends were calling me a dumbass and shit, but I'm used to smoking out of a pipe not a bong.

I took like 20 fucking hits with the Marijuana and Salvia after we got it dried of course! I decided to just sit back and relax. One of my friends said "Bye bye, Andrew!". We'll call him R. And I did the same thing the second time; my eyes rolled back to my head and a new world opened up! You know how when you are tired and you close your eyes and free your mind and you see weird shit, like your friends face having bugs and shit come of his face and all these weird things that you later think of "How the fuck could I even think of something like that?!" I don't think your mind was 'thinking', it was trying to get past thoughts and make new ones out of them. My friends were saying "Wow, I think he's gone! Let's just leave him!" That's when I started convulsing because I couldn't talk and I was still with reality, but it felt like I was in another dimension. I got up and my friends thought I was fine, but less than a second after standing up, I fell down. My friend tried helping me. I started seeing the dark black sky turn into different things each resembling good things, such as family, respect, caring, love, joyfulness, sharing, etc. The next thing it turned into was me killing people with a gun and crawling through a fuckin' jungle. But it was the evil me, it wasn't the other stuff it was showing earlier! It was only a black shadow though not just me, but the gun, the jungle, everything! The good pictures were actually in colour though.

After seeing the person who I'm assuming is (was or is going to be?) me, I started convulsing like very fuckin' violently! I started crawling (loss of coordination, couldn't stand) after one of my friends like I was in the jungle and I had to kill or be killed. We'll call him B. I started rolling over and shit. I looked into his face and said "I was... I am... I am going to be... (next part I said really fast) THE ONLY ONE!!!! I realized about 50% of what was happening, but not where I was. My friend helped me up and I was using my left hand to shoot someone, which is strange considering that I'm right handed and I wouldn't think I'd ever shoot a gun or even carry a gun in my left hand, but I just realized that right when I'm typing this out. I couldn't really realize anything at that moment. Hell, if I had a wife and someone was fucking her right in front of me, while I was tripping like that, I wouldn't know what the fuck to do. If I wasn't tripping like this, I would've killed the bastard.

I told my friends that we have to go see B's mom because maybe she can help me. While we passed the gate behind the backyard of his house, I saw people (soldiers) telling me and looking at me "You're going to make it, Tyler! You're going to make it!". Umm... what dafoooooook?! My name isn't Tyler, it's Andrew! I didn't speak to them though because I didn't have a chance to. Why? They took a handheld flamethrower and disintegrated their heads off. It literally scared the shit out of me, so much that I tried running to B's mom, but after 2 seconds of running like a fuckin' retarded penguin, I crashed down and started crawling because I thought I got shot in the fuckin' foot. I crawled right beside their garden bed and saw those fuckin' goblins again! They went away after two seconds of hearing B's mom's voice. I don't know why the fuck I had to see her more than anyone else. I kept gettin' this strange feelin' in my mind that only she can heal me and return me back home into the fake world. I kept thinking that our world; the legit one (realized after tripping) where you and I can both see each other... and shit like. The fake world is our legit world. Why is it fake then? I kept thinking that I was in a different dimension; a different entirely complex world where only very few things exist. Only the strong minds, like mine can go there, but is very difficult to return because everything in the real world (other dimension) was sped up by at least infinite times and would slow down to something that seemed like negative infinity, hence me talking very slow, then extremely fast.

My mom came outside and B's mom started telling me "It's OK, it's OK." and patted me on my back. I felt very comforting, so I did the same to her. All the neighbours and everyone around came over. I asked everyone where I am, what's my name and when I asked everyone "Am I possessed?!?!?!?!" Everyone just stood there and their eyes opened up and everyone said "No, you're not! It's just a bad trip!" What did they mean, bad trip?! What have I fuckin' done?! That's when I started convulsing again...! My mom looked into my eyes and said "His eyes are completely red and rolling back!". She looked into my eyes again and she looked embossed. Like, she was literally pushing out of something and becoming more of something, but at the same time she wasn't. It's too confusing to explain. Perhaps, I could do some kind of video or picture editing to show you.

B's mom's partner(?) called an ambulance and they were here in less than 5 minutes or at least that's how long I thought it was. I was put onto a stretcher, but didn't know where I was going, what was happening, etc. I like tore apart from reality or some shit. While I was in the ambulance, they restrained me after I started convulsing and they told me "Alright, Andrew! We're going to let go and you're going to behave or we're going to restrain you again, but with more force!" I tried telling them "OK", but it came out like a silent grunt "Aww... mah... tik..." because I couldn't talk. The... whatever the fuck it was must've taken away my ability to speak!

I stood up a bit and they told me to lay back down and everything is going to be alright. I looked at the electronic machine they were typing shit into. I stood up and reached for it because I thought I could learn everything by touching it, just like in some of those science-fiction movies where you see the person touching something or someone and they gain infinite knowledge about it. They said "OK, you blew it!" and they put me back into the restraints. I started convulsing again! Then I started going saying shit like "P... P... C... (next part - really fast and ecstatic) Assembly!". I even said "Boooly... attttttt... weeeeeeeee (next part - really fast and enjoyable) plazaaaaaaaa!", "Inter... (next part - extremly fast) pre-ter", Salvvvvvvvvvvv... innnnnnnnnn... orrrrrrrrrr... innnnnnnnnn (next part - pronounced continously for almost 3 seconds) A...!".

The lady in the back who was right beside me asked me in a calming matter "What are you saying, what do you want, Andrew?" I was worried so much I couldn't even look at her in the fuckin' eyes! Jesus fuckin' Christ! I knew I was fucked up with somethin', but what was it?! When I got in to the traumatic care unit, I was asked what did I take. One of the people there said "Well, one of his buddies said he took somethin' called Salvia or somethin' like that." I then got up and spelled it out extremely loudly! "S-A-L-V-I-A!!! There you go, I'm a good speller!" Then I sat back down and started convulsing and crying again! "The manager there said "JESUS FUCKIN' CHRIST, CALL A CODE WHITE!!!!" Code White means at least 20 people come to you and restrain the fuck out of you and pump chemicals and the whole nine fucking yards into yeah! And that's exactly what fuckin' happened! I woke up 5 seconds, minutes, hours... days(?!) later. Fuck Christ! I wouldn't know what the fuck time was if it hit me in my head! Fuuuuuck!

Then this one lady comes in and I got glue and pasty fuckin' tentacle shit all over me! I thought I was in a fuckin' space ship being examined by aliens and lizards! Ahuahauahauahauah!!!!! She comes over to me and I start convulsing extremely violent that my bed is starting to move and shit is starting to bubble and wave around like I'm going into a fuckin' dream or some shit, then it dissipates. She tried giving me the needle again and RIGHT before she sticks it in, that's when I start the extremely violent convulsing! And she yells out "Jesus Christ!!!!" and she backs the fuck away! 5 other people come in and hold me down. I got overall feeling that I've possessed super strength given to me by Lady Sally (the God of the plant I took). I actually overwhelmed a few of the people and they were surprised that I could lift my arms and legs up with them putting so much pressure onto me. The lady gives me a needle and takes out some of my blood. From now on, all I do is convulse and not because of the restraints, but because it's uncontrollable!

The manager and this other lady comes in with a bucket thing and says "OK, you can either pee in this thing or we can get out the catheter... (O)_____(O)

I'm fuckin' scared shitless that I... yeah... let's just leave it at that, I don't want to get into too much detail. I'm sure you know what I did in  my pants and no it wasn't piss! It was the first time I've ever done that other than when I was a baby!  xD

I took the bucket and tried pissing. I couldn't piss! Ahuahauahauahaua!!!! I started crying and told the lady that I'm trying as hard as I can, but it's not coming out! "Well, we're going to have to use the catheter then!" I literally got up and started yelling "Commmmmmme onnnnnnnnn, you fuckin' bastard!!!!!!!!". Nothing came out!  I started crying again. I asked the lady, if I can have a drink of water. She said no, but the other lady insisted that I should be allowed to have some water. So, they gave me some water. Then they gave me this portable toilet thing and I thought I was being treated like a fuckin' retard! Earlier I was actin' like one, so I guess it's only right that I get treated like one, if I'm actin' like one.  lol

I finally piss! Half of it goes on my fuckin' legs though because all I was wearing was a gown and they stripped me of my clothes when I came in. I didn't want to lift it up to see where my hose was pointing because people, mostly older women (40+) would've seen my huge dick. If it were younger women(<30), then that's a different story.  xDDDDDD

They tell me to lay back onto the bed and that's when I went back into delirium. "Andrew,... lay back on the bed... Andrew!" I just looked into her eyes and saw everything about her and her future, I could see everything from the future! I started yelling out "Premonition, premonition, premonition!" But each time I said it, I would say it quieter, slightly slower and then repeat over after about 10x.

Boooooooom! Booooooom! Boooooom! Booooom! Boooom! Booom! Boom! That's all I heard after yelling out "Premonition a gazillion times! And it would repeat, but mix up a bit. It had some kind of highly complex algorithmic way of making the "Boom!" sounds. But I could understand it, like it was trying to communicate with me or some shit.

Next thing I know, I was at home! I think I'ves developped PTSd or some e haiyt. Ihnas was so fuckinh trweaumatauxx. shisdnn I'm ahlyshdsnfking fuck oss!!@!!!!@!1!!!!!!1


Alive; not dead. Dead to be alive.


Shit I remember the first time I got high I was standing in a alley someone came up to me asked me if I wanted a bag of weed or plant like substance and I said do i have to pay anything the guy said no I was just like shit give me that bag. Then I asked my friends to go buy a bong and he did then we started shit there getting high hitting every 2 mins it was the best shit I smoked for my first time and there is how I got high. xD

«™™»«™™»¿§✞☭BùLlý Ìš Tĥé Béšt☭✞§¿«™™»«™™»

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«™™»«™™»¿§✞☭Šêtĥ Ìš Tĥé Béšt☭✞§¿«™™»«™™»

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Béšt cødérš Ëvér


Admin & Writer
lol  I'm actually writing a document on my whole experience with Salvia Divinorum. I'm hoping to have it finished by Christmas. It'll be called "Playing With Sally". I haven't come up with a subtitle that I want to stick with yet.  Wink Also, less than 24 hours of writing this topic, I was tasered and almost shot and put in the loony bin for two weeks, then I went to jail. Shocked


Alive; not dead. Dead to be alive.


sorry to hear that

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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Béšt cødérš Ëvér


Admin & Writer
I've learnt a valuable lesson from it all though. That's the main thing. And part of that lesson is that my friends are brain-dead retarded ratting faggots. Smile


Alive; not dead. Dead to be alive.

Whats weed?HAHAHA

Program Code Creator
hahahhaha me to never drive a car while high xD

Last edited by Love Me?Hate Me on 11/6/2014, 6:29 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : adding a comment im still wyatt.leclaire)

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«™™»«™™»¿§✞☭The Niggerlist nigger in all of nigtown Šĥîtñbítçĥ ☭✞§¿«™™»«™™»

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                                 Béšt cødérš Ëvér

We are all great hackers/modders/code creators but we must move on eventually i will remember the wii as the first console i ever hacked i hope this site does great this site is amazing, thank you bully. WILL MISS ALL YOU GUYS SINCE IM MOVING TO PS3 Sad

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